Why you should take advice from others with a grain of salt
Updated: Dec 4, 2019
Gee, I don’t know if this is just a part of getting older or what. Lately, I’ve been in a REAL accepting mindset. By this I mean I’ve been really more accepting of my faults, things I need to improve on, and how I can improve them to make myself the best version of me. It’s taken me a while to get to this place but it feels good.
With that being said, today I want to talk about something that has been weighing on my mind lately.
I’m done taking advice from people.
Well not everyone. But over the past month or so I have been making a conscious effort to really pay attention to who I vent to, and who I get advice from. You’re probably wondering why?
Not everyone is aligned with us and how we think. In fact, no one is aligned with how we think and what is best for us, except God himself. If you aren’t religious, maybe this can be more personal to yourself and you can relate by saying “no one is aligned with what is best for me besides myself, or the universe”…whatever you want to think. But in all realness, we are ALL different. None of us alike. We are all made differently and beautifully.
I say this because when we get advice from those that aren’t aligned with what we truly want and believe in, we can create a lot of problems for ourselves. We can also make a lot of life-changing decisions’ if we choose to act on that person’s advice as well.
At the end of the day, the people we get advice from truly do not have to deal with the consequences of our actions.
Let that sink in.
It truly took a really pivotal moment for me to come to terms with that. For so long I vent to people and I get advice, but it never really aligns with what I want….its always a thought of what works best for THAT person—not myself. I’m an open book too, so this was hard for me. I’ve been too trusting of my heart with too many people.
Those people don’t live my life, they don’t spend every day with my spouse, they don’t have my family, they don’t truly know. But I would make rash decisions with what they would say I should be doing, or what should happen, and all I was doing was creating more problems for myself.
So I took some time to think before I vent and if I do vent, I make sure to let the people I am talking with my goal of the conversation which is just venting. I do accept their advice out of respect of course but with a grain of salt.
I want you to pay attention to the next time you go to vent to someone and think to yourself,
“Am I gaining anything positive or beneficial to my life from this conversation with this person?”
“Am I going to follow this person’s advice, and is it lined up with my beliefs in people and life in general?”
“If I take this advice, will I regret it”
This can apply to literally any area of your life.
Marriage and Relationship Issues—we usually ask for advice or vent—but what is our goal of getting that advice? Does a decision need to be made in your relationship, or are you just venting?
You hate your job—but do you really hate your job or was it just a bad day?
Personal problems—stuff that you feel sucks—do you want someone to help you sort out the stuff that sucks to try and fix it, or do you just need someone to tell you it sucks and just let you talk about it?
Whether or not you should get a venti or a grande from Starbucks—do you REALLY need that much coffee or will you survive? (Sorry, had to throw a funny one in there)
There’s many more, but you get what I mean.
I know this seems so simple, but really it’s been very beneficial and its really flowing into other areas of my life. I’m learning to pick and choose my battles because of it—and that is relieving.
Thanks for listening to my babble.